This got me thinking about the inevitable syngery options which have no doubt already been thought of by advertising big brains in shiny shoes and Saville Row suits. Next Christmas could see the following being unwrapped 'neath the polyethylene boughs:
Dillinger Escape Plan Rock Band (PS3 w/ EyeToy)
In this version you not only rack up a score by hitting perfect runs of notes and beats, you also proceed to the next level by being fucking hardcore. The EyeToy which you hook up your PS3 records your motions and translates your hXc behaviour into points. There would be different themed activities which correspond to whichever singer is in the band at any one time. For example, in the Dimitri-era levels you get points for kicking over your grandparents game of Scrabble and in the later Greg-era you can only ascend to the higher levels if you walk all over people's faces. There would also be a Mike Patton bonus level where you'd have to shit in a hair dryer and drink your own piss out of a boot to complete.
Pink Floyd Rock Band (Wii)
Keeping with the trend of how Nintendo loves to release shiny white plastic peripherals with virtually each new game that comes out for the Wii, this version of the game would come with 48 giant plastic bricks which you'd have to assemble in front of the screen throughout 'The Wall', 'Comfortably Numb' etc, as well as the standard guitars and drums set up.
...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead Rock Band (Xbox 360)
In which you have to trash all of your instruments at the end of every song prompting you to immediately purchase more instruments from Game. Only on Xbox 360, because all Xbox 360 gamers with a Gold Live account must have limitless funds right?
Sonic Youth Rock Band (all formats)
In which you can only properly play any of the songs if you've got a bunch of pen lids and screwdrivers jammed into the frets of your plastic guitar. Gameplay spans founding members' tenure as Glenn Branca marionettes - in which all the notes are the same per guitar so it doesn't matter which buttons you press - right through their defection to Geffen - from whence you have to take all the nails and masking tape off of your guitar because you're a proper musician now and we want hits, motherfucker.
Lydia Lunch Rock Band (no formats)
In which you don't need to play any notes, because you don't know a single chord on the guitar right? Who the fuck needs music when you've got a set of vocal chords and a mic - that's all you need to get your message across. Plus you're Lydia Lunch - what the fuck are you doing playing computer games anyway?
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